First of all, I don't ever feel alone. I have the greatest family and friends that a young mama could ask for. I've received so much support, so much love, so much help from my loved ones - there's no possible way that I could feel like I'm lacking there. I'm a very blessed young woman; I have a beautiful daughter and a forcefield of family/friends who love me. I will never feel alone :)
Secondly, I don't think my life would be any better with Sol's dad in the picture. I think our life is easier without incorporating a man who doesn't want to be with us. Right now, Sol is all I need. HOWEVER... I think there's a divine reason that it takes two people to create a child. That said, it's natural for me to feel like I should have a partner throughout my pregnancy, as well as in raising my daughter. I don't think we're wired to go it alone. I was simply stating that I often wonder what it would have been like to have a man right there with me through it all. Not necessarily Sol's father, but simply a man who wanted to be a father.
Lastly, I know he's missing out. This beautiful girl belongs to me and only me, and he chose that. I chose her. She depends on me for everything, and I adore her more than I ever thought was possible. As I said in a previous post, I will never allow myself to forget that I chose this. She really is the sunshine of my life. Though I may have a laundry list of regrets in my life, Solaya is not one of them. I will never regret bringing her into the world. She will always be the sunshine I need. And as long as I keep my focus on her, I will never see the shadows.
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| Shortly after Sol was born, I received this fortune in my cookie :) Rather fitting, don't you think? |
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