First off, a snake update. Last Wednesday I walked into my office in the morning, pulled my chair out from my desk, and on it was THE SNAKE. Naturally, I freaked out. I screamed, kicked my chair back under my desk, ran to the opposite end of my office, climbed atop another rolling office chair, and grabbed on to the top of the door. The chair I climbed onto rolled away, and I was left hanging from the door. My manager rushed into my office, saw me hanging from the door, and asked what happened. I told her the snake was on my chair, and she pulled the chair out to find... a rubber snake. Apparently my coworker "T" is a prankster. I didn't talk to him for 2 days. Word got around, and then random employees were emailing me videos like this one. Thanks a heap, T.
This morning I was supposed to have a meeting with Chester and another coworker (we'll call her Ava). Remember Chester? (should you need to be caught up, the story is here) Thank heavens, the meeting ended up being cancelled. So I shared my "Chester" story with Ava. She has not yet met Chester, so she didn't understand the enormity of the gross-out factor here. I encouraged her to check out a picture of him; she then contacted someone named Julie to see his ID photo. See our conversation below:
- Chester had TOLD ME that we were going to lunch to discuss inventory. I was not aware that this was a ploy to ask me out. Given this man's age, him asking me out was one of the last things I would have expected; had I expected it (even just a little bit), I wouldn't have gone to lunch with him. Let me make that perfectly crystal clear.
- 60-year-old men are nice, and I'm sure they can be excellent companions. Just not companions for a 25-year-old.
- Gray hair in itself is not unattractive. It's the loose long, curly gray hairs collecting on a man's faded Ozzfest shirt that are unattractive (*gag*).
- Biker dudes are generally pretty cool. I love motorcycles. Harleys, Hondas, BMWs, whatever... I like em. If I didn't have a baby, I might even consider getting a bike myself. And I would absolutely date a "biker dude," if I found him pleasant and attractive. However, I will not date a 60-something Hell's Angel (which is a perfectly accurate description of good ol' Chester... er, just old Chester).
|This is a photo of some of Mr. Uno's belongings: swim trunks, motorcycle helmet. |
Below is a photo of a dumpster.
You do the math.
For those of you who are into symbolism, symbolize THIS.
Bitter, you say?
Well... have I mentioned that I'm officially scraping the bottom of the barrel?
I have a right to be bitter.
|9:30 pm at the 9th Street UPS Customer Center... creeeeeepy. Girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.|
|It only took about 12 mins to get past this first step (don't laugh, Samiie).|
|So Sol has this duck for bathtime. We called him Sheldon because he looks like a total nerd (The Big Bang Theory, anyone?). |
But then I thought Leonard Hofstadter was a better fit, since he wears glasses.
|Sol has a rattail. It's pretty awesome.|