Friday, August 31

Bottom of the Barrel

Want to do something fun?

Go to Google.  Go ahead, do it.

Search for "do a barrel roll."  Now watch in amazement as the Google masterpiece goes boldly where no search engine has ever gone before (that was for you, Todd).

Here's a story about a barrel.  Are you sitting down?  You'll want to.  (if you have a barrel nearby to sit on, that would be too perfect...)

Today at work I got a phone call from one of the production supervisors (we'll call him Chester).  We've been working on a packaging project, and we've been communicating frequently for some weeks now.  Getting a phone call from him was not at all out of the ordinary.

He asked me about an order I had just placed, and then he suggested we go to lunch.  I assumed we would be discussing the project we're working on.


Well, sort of.  ...We did discuss the project.  And our workplace.  And life in general. 

But then he started talking about how he likes children and the occasional chick flick, how he's an emotional guy, and gave me a whole pina-colada-getting-caught-in-the-rain-long-walks-on-the-beach spiel.  And then, that wily Chester, he asked me out on a date. 

I've been surprised once or twice in my life (*cough*unplannedpregnancy*coughcough), but never in my life have I been as shocked as I was today.

If I had to guess, I would say maybe this guy is 60?  He has three kids, two of which are older than me, and he is a hardcore, weathered biker dude... long gray hair slicked back into a ponytail, the works.  (My lovely sister Liz says to me: "Is that a record? Haha"   ...  yes, Liz, haha, very funny.)

After I choked down the French fry that was lodged in my throat, took a sip of water, and picked my jaw up off the floor, I graciously declined.  I mean, I give him credit for being ballsy, but... seriously?

It's official, I'm scraping the bottom of the barrel. 

But hey, lunch was free today.


  1. Ok, I'll give you the Trek reference, but GRAY-HAIRED, WEATHERED BIKER DUDE?
    Two words, Lanie:
    Also ... Jack Daniels uses aged barrels for a reason.
    Love the omg pic, though. ;)

    1. Oh Todd. :)
      Daddy, yes. Sugar Daddy... Ummm... [gag]

      Aged barrels, huh? Yeah, I'd say Chester fits that description.