So I'm forgetful, messy, scatterbrained, and often full of regret when it comes to decisions I've made. Doesn't seem like a positive mix when an unexpected baby comes into the picture. Sure, I was worried about how I would handle it when Baby B came into the world. But now that Sol is here, I don't feel regret. I can't spend my life wondering if both our lives would be better if things had turned out differently - for example, if I'd chosen adoption, or even if Sol had never come to be.
The reality is, my daughter is here. Sol is the reason I live and breathe. She makes it easier for me to spend my days working at a job I hate - it's all for her. She gives new meaning and purpose to my often-topsy-turvy life. Sol is everything to me. And it takes just one glimpse of her in the morning to make that absolutely clear. Sometimes my mind wanders and I wonder how much easier it might be if I had some time off. But maybe it's good that Sol and I have only each other, all day, every day, 24/7, no breaks. I need to give this little girl the most loving, beautiful, fun-filled life. And every time she smiles at me, that need grows. It takes one glimpse of her to remind me just how good a choice she was (and still is). Maybe I'll regret my car, my camera, my shoes, or my purse. But I'll never regret giving life to Solaya.