Tuesday, March 6

KEEPING MY FACE TO THE SUN

I think I need to clarify a little bit from my last post:

First of all, I don't ever feel alone.  I have the greatest family and friends that a young mama could ask for.  I've received so much support, so much love, so much help from my loved ones - there's no possible way that I could feel like I'm lacking there.  I'm a very blessed young woman; I have a beautiful daughter and a forcefield of family/friends who love me.  I will never feel alone :) 

Secondly, I don't think my life would be any better with Sol's dad in the picture.  I think our life is easier without incorporating a man who doesn't want to be with us.  Right now, Sol is all I need.  HOWEVER... I think there's a divine reason that it takes two people to create a child.  That said, it's natural for me to feel like I should have a partner throughout my pregnancy, as well as in raising my daughter.  I don't think we're wired to go it alone.  I was simply stating that I often wonder what it would have been like to have a man right there with me through it all.  Not necessarily Sol's father, but simply a man who wanted to be a father. 

Lastly, I know he's missing out.  This beautiful girl belongs to me and only me, and he chose that.  I chose her.  She depends on me for everything, and I adore her more than I ever thought was possible.  As I said in a previous post, I will never allow myself to forget that I chose this.  She really is the sunshine of my life.  Though I may have a laundry list of regrets in my life, Solaya is not one of them.  I will never regret bringing her into the world.  She will always be the sunshine I need.  And as long as I keep my focus on her, I will never see the shadows.


Shortly after Sol was born, I received this fortune in my cookie :)  Rather fitting, don't you think?

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