I often feel like I was so worried about labor/delivery and all the "what ifs" of bringing a baby home that I didn't even think ahead to the happy parts - to how wonderful life would be once Baby was born. True to her name, my little Sol is just a ray of sunshine for me. And though I might sound like a broken record, I couldn't be happier that I chose this path. Every single time I look at her, there's a very small part of me that winces as I think back to those few moments in which I was convinced another path would be easier or smarter.
Don't get me wrong... life with a newborn is not all unicorns and rainbows. I HATE the fact that I can't get more than 3 hours of sleep at a time. I'm suffering from cabin fever but am slightly terrified to take Sol out in public. I'm not a huge fan of dirty diapers, and I could do without the blood-curdling screams that inevitably resound when I give Sol a bath.
But it could be so much worse. I'm glad that I'm able to wake up at 3am when my daughter is hungry. I'm glad that I have a warm apartment where we can spend our days together. I'm thankful that she eats enough to make the dirty diapers, and that we have clean, warm water to bathe her in.
I try to remind myself of all these things every time she's been crying for 15 minutes (for no apparent reason). I remind myself to thank God for giving me such a perfect little miracle. I remind myself that Miss Solaya is just a little person who needs to be loved, fed, and changed every so often. She's an innocent human who depends solely on me. Her life is pretty simple. All she needs is love (and milk). I can handle that. She has all my love, and then some. And you know what? That's all she needs.